Note: I wrote this post about a week ago for my class blog and am just now posting it on here, so the information is out of date by still interesting.
Tomorrow I’m leaving for Wayanad, and honestly, I’m incredibly overwhelmed. I’m in a foreign country, working on a film (something I know very little about), about the Avidasi community (something I didn’t even know existed until I arrived). I feel completely out of my element. After discussing this film idea with my partner and our instructors I felt even more overwhelmed because there are so many steps to this project and we’re completing it in such a short amount of time. But, before I became too overwhelmed, I considered this trip.
I made the decision to come to India in September and as my departure approached in December there were several steps. I had to attend orientation, get a Visa, buy a plane ticket, pack, exchange money, the list went on and on. The only thing that kept me sane was having a checklist. I refrain from using the word plan because plans are restricting and I feel they inhibit flexibility and creativity. I might go on a trip without a plan, but I’d never leave without a checklist.
A checklist alone was not enough, of course. I talked to friends who had been to India, faculty working on this trip, and anyone who would help me with my packing list and other tasks. I relied on all of these people to get me to my final destination, and without them the overwhelmingness of this trip might have stopped me.
And that would have been a shame, because just yesterday I did something I never imagined I would do. I climbed a coconut tree. At the bottom of the tree I was terrified, but as I began working up I realized it wasn’t so scary. I didn’t feel like I was going to throw up anymore, and I realized that climbing the tree was actually pretty fun. I even felt like I was kind of good at climbing the tree. The whole walk to the tree I said, “I can’t do this, I’ll never be able to climb this.” And the whole way back I said, “I can’t believe I did that.” The one thing that helped me get up that tree was faith. Faith in myself and the faith all the people around me had.
So while this project seems terrifying and impossible right now, I worked out a script with Bryan. We have a list of questions, shots we want to take, and how we want to order our documentary. I have Bryan, who knows about films, and others around to help me through the process and I know once we filming things won’t seem so overwhelming and scary. And by the time this is over I’ll be able to say, “Yeah, I did that.” I know from experience that’s the best feeling in the world.
–Ash Bruxvoort
